You want it. Of course you do. You not only want it, though — you wish you had done it. You leave your day job, get home,  sit in front of your computer and start to pund out words, or draw, or whatever it is that you do. And after about ten minutes, the idea has dried up, and you think, “Man…this is HARD.”

No shit, Sherlock.

Important safety tip: you cannot borrow a booster rocket. You see the other guy burning brightly in the sky, like a star. You cannot just steal their fuel and use it for yourself. It doesn’t fit. You didn’t earn it.

Envy is a poor fuel. It burns too quickly. It’s sour. It’s poisonous. It does not satisfy.

Let their work inspire you. Let their drive help keep you in check. Remember that, even though it looks like they just birthed The Cool Thing from out of nowhere, know that they have been working on it for months —  if not years.

They had to do the work. Now it’s your turn. Skip the envy. Go build your own rocket.

Natalie Metzger’s birthday is today. I have no idea how old she is, I have not asked. She is probably older than she looks, or else her husband needs to be put in jail.

Over at The Secret Lair, we have started a tradition of doing special things for the staff members’  birthdays. Natalie started it with an art piece for me, and we continued it with a piece and story about our friend John Cmar. When it came to her birthday, honestly tried to put something fictional together for her, some cute story, some silly anecdote.

I failed.

I failed becase Natalie is cooler than fiction. I cannot improve on that. She probably thinks that the art and comics she does for the Lair is why I love her so, and she would be wrong.

Natalie is part of what keeps me going. I have a small core of people that inpire me to action. Natalie was the first of those people. She’s encouraged me and, Thor help her, has agreed to more of my half-baked schemes than I care to think about. Without her, I’m conviced The Lair would have ended a long time ago.

Natalie’s a wonder, and you all should know it.

Now you do.

Happy birthday, Natalie. Many happy returns.

1. We are to quick to dismiss things that have, in some way, been “done before.”.
2. We fear taking chances on our own ideas.

The first problem, Been Done Before, is the most common stopping point for novice creators. This applies to a number of fields, art, writing, programming, business.  In Stephenson’s words:

Most people who work in corporations or academia have witnessed something like the following: A number of engineers are sitting together in a room, bouncing ideas off each other. Out of the discussion emerges a new concept that seems promising. Then some laptop-wielding person in the corner, having performed a quick Google search, announces that this “new” idea is, in fact, an old one—or at least vaguely similar—and has already been tried. Either it failed, or it succeeded. If it failed, then no manager who wants to keep his or her job will approve spending money trying to revive it. If it succeeded, then it’s patented and entry to the market is presumed to be unattainable, since the first people who thought of it will have “first-mover advantage” and will have created “barriers to entry.” The number of seemingly promising ideas that have been crushed in this way must number in the millions.

What if that person in the corner hadn’t been able to do a Google search? It might have required weeks of library research to uncover evidence that the idea wasn’t entirely new—and after a long and toilsome slog through many books, tracking down many references, some relevant, some not. When the precedent was finally unearthed, it might not have seemed like such a direct precedent after all. There might be reasons why it would be worth taking a second crack at the idea, perhaps hybridizing it with innovations from other fields.

Let’s take writing for an example. There is a great deal of reluctance to taken an idea that you feel was poorly executed upon and use it for the base concept of a new work. While an author could not create a slavish imitation of the poor work, they certainly could take the base idea, infuse it fresh creativity and new ideas, and then release the new work to the world. Note, though, the the reluctance is usual only in the case of the novice creative. Professionals know that there is nothing new under the sun: depending on who you believe, there is only one plot, or seven plots, or thirty-six plots in the whole world. Freytag’s pyramid is a basic constant of the field. The trick is in making the old idea better than it was before. That’s where the skill of the storyteller and the will to risk putting something new into the world comes to play.

For example, there is a comic book series called Last Blood. In it, a vampire protects some humans during the zombie apocalypse.  My personal opinion is that it wasn’t very well executed, there were major weaknesses considering the motivations and actions of the characters. The idea, however, was fascinating.

Along comes Chuck Wendig. He may or may not have known about the comic…I have never asked him. He releases a book called Double Dead. In it, a vampire protects some humans during the zombie apocalypse. However, Wendig brings to bear some crazy-yet-fascinating characters and ideas that make his book into something special.

Adding the crazy makes the story. That’s the risk. (See that smooth transition to my second point?)

Look at some of these ideas. When condensed, they sound a little suspect:

1. A midget has to take a ring to a volcano to kill a dark god.
2. A wizard lives in in a modern city and has a talking skull as a companion. They solve crimes together.
3. An alien comes to earth, is impervious, dresses in dance tights, and people take him seriously.
4. A damaged kid who saw his parents shot dresses as a bat and takes the law into his own hands.

Sure, you can identify those, and they might even sound good given that you know that they work,. However…would you try to take the subject on in a new form?  Would you be willing to try to take the same origin story of Superman or Batman and put your own spin on it, while not calling them by name? Why not?  People have been doing it for years. (If you think that The Man of Steel is all original, go look at The Man of Bronze.)

My point is this: everything new is based on something old with an infusion of a little crazy juice. It takes courage to see the similarity with something that’s Been Done Before and then put a new spin on it. Do not let that stop you. CREATIVITY IS RISK. Embrace it, and do magnificent things.

The show takes a slightly different turn when Dr. John Cmar invites Overlord Chris Miller into the interrogation chamber for a conversation. What starts as a simple question, “How Are You?” develops into a visit between two old friends. The conversation ranges far and wide, from what the Overlord’s vision is for the Lair to some deeply personal matters which have changed his life.

We have bigger houses but smaller families:
We have more degrees but less sense;
more knowledge but less judgements;
more experts but more problems;
more medicines, but less healthiness.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but we have trouble crossing the street
to meet the new neighbour.
We build more computers
to hold more information,
to produce more copies than ever,
but we have less communication.
We have become long on quantity
but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods,
but slow digestion;
tall man, but short character;
steep profits, but shallow relationships.
It is time when there is much in the window
but nothing in the room.

- The Dalai Lama

My writing desk looks out on the street that runs in front of my house. From there, I watch the kids play, the neighbors come and go, mow their lawns, hide in their houses. In the summer I can smell freshly-cut grass and meat grilling, I can hear the shouts of games and the high school marching band practicing early in the morning. I can observe all these things. If I never leave my computer, I will never know any of them.

There is such an emphasis on doing, on accomplishing in the world at the moment. Productivity blogs, to do managers, email lists, WIP boards, reminder apps, and scraps of paper tucked in the bathroom mirror so that we do not forget whatever it is we are supposed to be doing. We look forward. We look back. It seems like we’re never just where we are.

 I hiked at a nature preserve today. As I marched down the trail, I realized a was walking quickly as if I were rushing to a meeting. This has become my natural pace. On top of that, I was quite literally lost in thought, missing the beauty around me and dwelling on bills and plans and deadlines. I was borrowing from the future and tossing away the present.

I forced myself to slow down. To breathe. To smell the world, to see the wonder before me, to let the future take care of itself for a while. I stopped, sensing my place in the forest around me. There was a peace there I’d not felt in a long, long time.

Sometimes the old cliches say it best: take time to stop and smell the roses. Foster the present. The future will be here soon enough. Deal with it when it gets here.

The Recipe:

2 cups of heavy whipping cream
1 3/4 cups of 2% milk
3/4 cup of sugar
1/4 cup Torani Bacon syrup
10 drops red food coloring.

Mix everything together and use a mixer to whip until all the sugar is dissolved. Pour into an ice cream maker and churn according to its instructions. About twenty-five minutes worked for me. Scoop into a container and freeze until solid.

The Result:

Fantastic flavor, but very rich. Best used as an accent rather than eating a whole bowl.

Following that line, in March I caught this TED Talk that Susan Cain presented. She make a powerful case for the value of being an introvert in a world that seems to value speaking more than thinking.  When I saw her book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,  I picked up a copy and have been enjoying her insights and observations.

In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.

Our world prizes extroverts — but Susan Cain makes a case for the quiet and contemplative.

Greg Howley with MC Frontalot.. Word.

Here is what you missed in The Secret Lair this week:

• Jay Lynn’s Essay “If Life Gives You Lemons, Suck It Up And Deal With It” — “I want to talk a little bit about listening to yourself, defining success for yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin (not related to aliens or bodysnatching). I also want to get something straight right off the bat – this is not some kind of “follow your dreams and the world will reward you with rainbows and unicorns” crap. Instead, I want to remind you that you are the only person that can really screw up your life. Bad things happen, but they don’t define you.”
• My review of Summer Daniels’ book Summer’s Journey, Volume I: Losing Control — “About a month ago, we put out the call for Indie or Small Publisher books to review. One of the questions we got was “Will you review erotica?” Yes. Yes we will. ”
• Greg Howley’s update from PAX East 2012 — “Just like last year, my favorite parts of PAX were things I couldn’t have predicted. Possibly my favorite panel was the GeekDad/GeekMom panel entitled “Raising the Next Generation of Geeks”. I nearly didn’t go after a friend cautioned me that it would largely feature new and prospective parents asking how to prevent their kids from playing Grand Theft Auto. While a panel in the past may have been like that, this one was not. I summoned some chutzpah and got in the Q&A line when it formed, asking for book and board game recommendations. I was flooded. ”

Six months in, do I still like the ease of Windows? Do I like having an OS that I am not even remotely tempted to mess around with?

Sort of.

Windows has been very good at staying out of my way. I get in, I use the programs I want, and I get out again. Spending time in front of a screen is not something I relish these days. The ability to get things done is paramount.

While Windows has been good for simple things, it falls down when trying to do more complex operations, like using Audacity for audio editing, or, say, running iTunes. Seriously. Dual processor x64 architecture and it still gives me the hourglass when running iTunes. Fail.

Doug is right, Windows has been growing flakier as time goes by. Boot time has grown noticeably. My CD ROM drivers just stopped working. Cannot download new ones. Cannot get the damn thing to work. Gave up.

Have I tried installing Linux? Yes. Yes I have. There’s something about the video mode that my Toshiba uses that does not like Ubuntu. After an afternoon of Googling, I gave up on this as well. I have a VM with Linux  that I use when I need a environment for development. It’s sub-optimal, but it works.

Do I want to go back to Mac? No…not really. Apple is lovely, and yes, they just work, but they are massively overpriced. Also, looking toward the future —  I think they are done. They’ll use the rest of the good ideas that Steve Jobs had before he passed on, and then they’ll be as lost as the rest of the tech giants are. I don’t see a future there.

Where will I go next?  Probably Linux. Probably Kubuntu. Unity makes my teeth itch…the Gnome project has lost its way. I’ll keep the Windows box for my kids and for occasional gaming, but at this point, Linux is simply easier for me to use and provides more overall value than Windows does.

That’s a joke.

But it does inspire me. I hope it inspires you, too.

I do not relish this; I am not proud. The time change of coming back from California knocked me off my game and I’ve not been able to find my footing since. I used to work out first thing in the morning, but having to make sure the girls are up and ready to go has made it difficult.

Okay…that’s a lie. If I get to the gym by 5:30 I can work out for thirty minutes and still get munchkins (Is a 15 year old girl a munchkin anymore? Especially when she is taller than I am?) up and out the door by 7am. As usual, the problem appears to less about logistics and more about energy and motivation. My instinct duing periods of big change is to pull back, become more reserved and, by necessity, more stationary. That’s not going to work for me this time.

Back to work, slug. Back to work.

As I said in a previous post, I am not trawling for pity or going all emo. I put this here because the writing that is to follow will sound odd if you do not know the context.

It is sad, but it is mutual and amicable. We’re still friends. The kids are doing well. We’ve had some time to adjust to the new reality, and the truth is, everyone is much happier overall.

I have been taking time to be still, to re-evaluate how I am using my life. In many ways, I am starting over. Those of you who have been through such a thing know what I’m talking about. It is  a second chance to get to know yourself, to assess how you have changed during the time you were connected to this other person. And…there is the opportunity to decide who you want to be now.

That’s where I am. Talk with you soon.

Yes…I skipped a few days to catch up. You can see the missing pictures in my Flickr photo set.

I debated whether to post about this, because I am not looking for pity or sympathy. It’s a true thing, and it informs — changes, really — my whole life. The only summary I will give on the situation is this: it’s amicable, it’s mutual. While it is sad, it is for the best. We are still friends…we’ve always been good friends…but our lives and needs are moving in diametrically-opposed directions. Best for all involved if we face the facts instead of try to fix something that is fundamentally changed, and deal with it before we hate one another.

The kids are fine.

I tell you this because I want to write about the changes happening to me, and without this bit of context, the next several posts will make no sense at all.

PyCon has been fantastic. I suppose this should come as no surprise. I have always been impressed with the hard work and dedication of the community but I’ve always held myself outside; peering in, watching. This year, my good friend Mike drove the point home: the only way to really enjoy PyCon is to dive in and engage.

He was correct. The difference has been amazing. The passion here is infectious and makes me want to get involved. Everyone is so accessible, so easy to talk with; how could you not want to make things better by helping?

There have been a number of surprises, but the largest by far is the desire for more episodes of From Python Import Podcast. Our last episode was put out a year ago, after PyCon 2011. Folks have been asking for more of our brand of commentary, and who are we to deny it to them? __fpip__ is coming back this month, featuring interviews with Steve Holden of the PSF and the PyLadies.

Today’s keynotes have me thinking about new topics to explore. Stormy Peters has me thinking about Community and Privacy; how they interact, how they should promote and shield each other. A question asked of Paul Graham of YCombinator got me thinking: what is the moral responsibility of venture capitalists who invest in medical startups? What ethical issues are there in developing new software solutions for the forecasting of health issues based on a person’s genetic code?

And then there is the code…that feeling of itch fingertips that makes me want to sit down and craft something interesting. In the past, figuring out *what* to write has always been the issue…people are already attacking the common problems of the web and security. The area that I find interesting now is the management of development teams. That got me thinking…what sort of tools could I develop to aid me in managing my own team? That’s my itch. I’m going to spend the next year scratching it, and I’m going to propose a talk at PyCon 2013 to discuss my findings.

Time for me to get back to the conference. More later.