Journal entry for Sat 10/16

Traveling is harder than it used to be. I was exhausted after the drive up here yesterday. I’m up in Midland visiting Rob, and today is our big day to hang out and catch up.

I’ve got an ear infection which is making it hard to hear on my left side. This morning, I woke to my right ear feeling itchy and swollen…hopefully that will clear up soon. I’m not looking forward to a double infection.

It is true autumn up here. It’s not going to get above 55 degrees today. Glad I brought some pants.

Pants. Ugh. Living at home for the last two years have made me sloppy, lazy, and slovenly. I need to make personal care part of my self care routine.

Monday I start going to the gym in the morning. I have two hours blocked off for it, just to give myself permission to go slow and be present. I hope to get some swimming in, but I’l admits, I’m worse off than I thought I was. I’ve been using caffeine to push through the massive discomfort ad feebleness that has come of being seated for most of the day.

And that’s something to talk about, for sure. Physical activity. Since I quit, I’m definitely moving around more. Thursday along I got 7500 steps in. On a normal day working from home, I used to get 1500. It’s all a step in the right direction. Ha ha ha.

(Mmmmmm. Crappy hotel coffee.)

I have so many ideas. So many plans. Taking the time to NOT do and NOT plan is really difficult. Being present is my goal right now…allowing myself to process this life change and get ok with being whomever I am now it my prime goal for the next two weeks. Followed by light but consistent physical activity.

And that’s hard, because my brain interprets exertion as distress. WHereas my body, after a time, revels in it. The disconnect there is a big problem I need to address. And thinking about it will not fix it.

Back to current maladies: I fucked up my left knee taking off my compression socks. Goddamn it. Seriously?

Yoga. Gotta do some yoga.