One of the weird side effects of leaving my job is that I have no idea what to do with my computers.
Besides my iPhone and iPad, I have a Windows machine for gaming and a Linux laptop for…coding? Vanity? Something?
I remember how vital it was to me to keep alternate environments going, for all the creative projects I would be working on — but specifically NOT working on them on my work computer. I spent a lot of mental cycles planning out my Python coding environment, learning a minimal amount about Docker, planning, planning, ever planning.
Now I have the time and I want nothing to do with them. For now, anyway.
One of the things I internalized over the course of my career is that if you are not sitting in front of a computer, you are not working. During the pandemic I’ve been wresting with that bit of malformed logic. Now that I don’t HAVE to be at a computer, my monkey mind is throwing a tantrum, screeching and flinging…self-doubt.
I’m not concerned about it. Not really. I’m still in the “letting my mind unspool from many years of SNAFU” and getting used to what it means to just be working on home stuff.
I can grocery shop from my phone. Still weird. Still leave me with more time than I expected. Not a complaint, just an observation. My new job is mostly about me improving my health and keeping the house running. Trying to figure that out is it’s own challenge.
I’ll work it out. Just a strange feeling, is all.