At Home

OK Computer

One of the weird side effects of leaving my job is that I have no idea what to do with my computers.

Besides my iPhone and iPad, I have a Windows machine for gaming and a Linux laptop for…coding? Vanity? Something?

I remember how vital it was to me to keep alternate environments going, for all the creative projects I would be working on — but specifically NOT working on them on my work computer. I spent a lot of mental cycles planning out my Python coding environment, learning a minimal amount about Docker, planning, planning, ever planning.

Now I have the time and I want nothing to do with them. For now, anyway.

One of the things I internalized over the course of my career is that if you are not sitting in front of a computer, you are not working. During the pandemic I’ve been wresting with that bit of malformed logic. Now that I don’t HAVE to be at a computer, my monkey mind is throwing a tantrum, screeching and flinging…self-doubt.

I’m not concerned about it. Not really. I’m still in the “letting my mind unspool from many years of SNAFU” and getting used to what it means to just be working on home stuff.

I can grocery shop from my phone. Still weird. Still leave me with more time than I expected. Not a complaint, just an observation. My new job is mostly about me improving my health and keeping the house running. Trying to figure that out is it’s own challenge.

I’ll work it out. Just a strange feeling, is all.


Morning, Midland MI

Journal entry for Sat 10/16

Traveling is harder than it used to be. I was exhausted after the drive up here yesterday. I’m up in Midland visiting Rob, and today is our big day to hang out and catch up.

I’ve got an ear infection which is making it hard to hear on my left side. This morning, I woke to my right ear feeling itchy and swollen…hopefully that will clear up soon. I’m not looking forward to a double infection.

It is true autumn up here. It’s not going to get above 55 degrees today. Glad I brought some pants.

Pants. Ugh. Living at home for the last two years have made me sloppy, lazy, and slovenly. I need to make personal care part of my self care routine.

Monday I start going to the gym in the morning. I have two hours blocked off for it, just to give myself permission to go slow and be present. I hope to get some swimming in, but I’l admits, I’m worse off than I thought I was. I’ve been using caffeine to push through the massive discomfort ad feebleness that has come of being seated for most of the day.

And that’s something to talk about, for sure. Physical activity. Since I quit, I’m definitely moving around more. Thursday along I got 7500 steps in. On a normal day working from home, I used to get 1500. It’s all a step in the right direction. Ha ha ha.

(Mmmmmm. Crappy hotel coffee.)

I have so many ideas. So many plans. Taking the time to NOT do and NOT plan is really difficult. Being present is my goal right now…allowing myself to process this life change and get ok with being whomever I am now it my prime goal for the next two weeks. Followed by light but consistent physical activity.

And that’s hard, because my brain interprets exertion as distress. WHereas my body, after a time, revels in it. The disconnect there is a big problem I need to address. And thinking about it will not fix it.

Back to current maladies: I fucked up my left knee taking off my compression socks. Goddamn it. Seriously?

Yoga. Gotta do some yoga.

At Home Food InstaGrue

Making Lunchmeat

Decided to make my own lunchmeat today. Came out pretty well.

Deli-Style Roast Beef


  • 1 beef eye round roast
  • olive oil
  • freshly cracked black pepper
  • kosher salt
  • garlic powder
  • onion powder


Preheat your oven to 500 degrees. Line a sheet pan or roasting pan with foil. Put a roasting rack in the pan on top of the foil. Set aside.

Grab your roast out of the fridge. Give it a quick rinse under cold water. Pat it completely dry.

Drizzle the meat with a little olive oil. This is imprecise. Use enough oil to coat your roast completely.

With your hands, rub the meat on all sides to coat with oil.

Sprinkle evenly with freshly cracked black pepper and kosher salt. Rub it around to coat evenly.

Dust all sides with garlic powder and onion powder.

Place your roast on the rack in your prepared pan.

Pop the pan into your preheated 500 degree oven.

Roast at 500 degrees for 20 minutes. Then drop temperature to 300 degrees for another 30 minutes.

For a medium rare roast, your meat should be in the oven for a total of 50 minutes cooking time. If you’d like it rare, pull it out sooner. If you’d like it more well done, leave it in a little longer.

Loosely tent a piece of foil over the meat for about 20 minutes when it comes out of the oven.

To serve, slice it thinly across the grain with a very sharp knife. Enjoy!



First Post

I’m just going to leave these thoughts here.

One of the things I want to do when I leave this job is write more. As the work stress recedes, as I observe my own thought process, I realize that I’m constantly writing essays in my head. I mean CONSTANTLY. My inner monologue is really wordy.

This place seems like a good place to put that stuff.

Nothing here will be too polished. I need to put the words somewhere. Either a journal (for private stuff) or here (to share, because Facebook wants to own all my words).

Nycteris mentioned the other day that a photo page might be better than instagram. So I’ll put those here too.

Hi. Talk to you soon.