Christopher T. Miller

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Finding a pace

published

Part of the joy of working in my field is the ability to work from home. I did that today, and so did my wife, so we had a nice quiet day of working at the dining room table together and conversing on where we want things to go with our lives.

For my part, I’m really proud that my kids are growing up and getting out on their own. My eldest two are making their way in the world, working, going to college, making friends and having relationships. It’s a joy to see them growing into adults.

My son, in his freshman year of high school, is also finding his way, but in that slightly hesitant way one does when they figure out it’s all on them now. Its not, not yet, but high school is a big enough difference from middle school that it sure feels that way.

Cat and I are starting to scope out tiny house manufacturers for Life After Kids. We’re both a little tired of the cost of having a four bedroom house…it’s space we don’t really need for just two people. It’s a yard we don’t use for much, and upkeep that we is more mandatory than of interest to us.

It’s a long-term plan, but we’ve started to map out the path. Many things are like that right now: we’re figuring out the right pace for the race before us. It’s not a sprint to the next urgent thing anymore (god please)…it’s a marathon toward the lives we want to create.

The last twenty-five years of my life have been ruled by the practicalities of the situations before me. Until I married Cat, I was the breadwinner of the family, carried the insurance…all the things that fall us as we become Productive Members of Society. I look back now and wish I’d found a better way of dealing with the stress, but hindsight is always 20-20. Are we ever really ready, ever really prepared for what the world demands of us? I’m 48 now, and often I look around and I feel like a Talking Heads song. “And you may ask yourself, ‘Well…how did I get here?’”

As the kids grow up, I’m not as responsible for everyone and their needs. This plan, wherein we are able to move into some place smaller, have fewer things to deal with, and maybe even be able to live on one salary…it looks like heaven after all this time. I’m excited.

So we consider. We pace ourselves. We plan and prepare. We have a spreadsheet, so it must be official.

#diary