d20 in a random direction

a blog

Stress

Stress is just part of life, and I recognize that. I think, however, that the amount of stress I experience is driven by two factors: false urgency and cognitive dissonance. False urgency comes from the perception (imagined) that everything at work is on fire all the time. Some of this is internal -- I run a team that runs the website for a well-known company. There are a LOT of requests. I take them all seriously. Because I take them so seriously, everything feels like it's on fire all the time. It's not. There will always be requests. Some…

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So far, so good

I'm 24 hours in, and I feel pretty good. No caffeine headache from withdrawal yesterday, and I'll take that as a win. That was my biggest concern. I used to get terrible migraines if I missed my morning cup of joe. That didn't happen this time. I'm relieved. I slept like a baby last night. Around 7:30 I started yawning and was out by 8:15, which is odd for me. Normally, I'm up pacing the house until at least 11pm. Not so, last night. I'm curious to see what affect this has on my anxiety and depression. This past…

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And so it begins

Remind me...what are you doing? Well, I wanted to get some of my addictions under control. I use caffeine and sugar quite a bit to make it through the work day, and then wind up needing sleep meds to sleep at night. I want to get this under control. As much as I love my morning coffee, I drink too much of it throughout the day just to keep up the energy to do what needs to be done. The sugar is all about eating my feelings. It gives me a nice hit, and I feel better. But it's…

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I owe them much

When I look at the world around me, specifically the political nonsense of the last four years, I often find myself saying, “This is all what they warned us about! How can people not see this?” Tonight, I remember why. Kris Johnson and I are rewatching the old V miniseries from the eighties. It holds up well, and I am more aware of this issues that they bring up: anti-science to promote ignorance and domination, control of the media, shades of Nazi influences. But I was a child when I watched this. I was a child when I read…

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Hello World #5

Good morning, all. Couple of things to catch up on: September is going to be Chris Confronts His Coping Mechanisms month. Work has been pretty intense of late. When things get stressful, I inevitably fall back on my old frenemies Caffeine and Sugar. Then I find it hard to sleep, so I use sleep meds to fall asleep. But I have trouble waking up, so I... You get the picture. I'm at home, and I have few chances (if you ignore the convenience that is Doordash) to eat and drink poorly unless I make a choice to bring these…

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